Thursday, July 12, 2012

Journey through Dementia

Journey through Dementia

So hard for me to write about
a journey with my mother
a disease that is so
very wretched
still taking years
for me
to put down into words

A disease that robs 
the human mind
of memories
of faces
of speech
love moments

I became a stranger
to someone that I loved
right before my very eyes
I watched her slowly slip away
I loved her all the way through it 
walking the path gently
every moment

 doesn't just take
the individual
the human being
the person deep inside
 it takes
the family right along
with it
just like an ugly monster does
reaching to get you in your 
dreams at night

Every day a surprise
sometimes a twinkling moment
something remembered
someone recognized
sometimes knowing who I was
a daughter
who loved her mommy 
so very much

I wish this affliction
on no one to experience
but for me and my family
it was dealt out to us
I was determined
 to handle it with grace
wanting dignity
for my mommy
she deserved
love and respect

So I have said my goodbyes
to a world that was clouded
free to breathe 
free to walk
free to be me
once again
no longer a caretaker
no longer a daughter
oh how I would go back
if only to hold her

I take with me this experience
having been grateful
for what I truly went through
now being able to share
my wisdom and knowledge
with someone else
going through it
who might just need 
my words of advice

Walking this journey
my heart is still aching
for my mommy who was
thankful she is not suffering
and in a better place
no more Dementia
no more disease

Peace is now mine